Confessions of a caregiver.

1) If my daughter died my biggest emotion would be relief.

2) I would give up almost anything to set the clock back and change the decisions that led me to have her in my life.

3) I grieve every day that I will never have a family.

4) This isn't the life I wanted, and I don't know how to deal with that forever.

5) I am crushed, emotionally and spiritually, because my life and wellbeing is not even as important as a drolling infantile mentally absent person - not to our society, my husband, or my God.

6) Every time my husband calls her "kiddo" I die a little more inside because it reminds me I will never have a daughter that knows my name or is capable of a relationship.

7) My life has no purpose, and therefore I often don't know why I keep living. No, changing diapers and wiping drool and fighting with my daughter to eat and stay clean is not a purpose - she wouldn't know the difference who was doing that for her. It's robbing me of my life and health for no reason at all.